some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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