Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
