I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize