FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
