I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
