I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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