my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
