Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
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We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
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Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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