Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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