and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
