i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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