would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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