I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
