I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
im holly from the hills drunk
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
