dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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