we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
