You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
