i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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