READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Be still, my beating vagina.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
