So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
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she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
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She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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