i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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