You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
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Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
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Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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