Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
