your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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