I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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