Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize