if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
