I wanna bring you to show and tell
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
