How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
