Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
