Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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