but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
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