i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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