I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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