I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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