So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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