me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
