My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize