Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
