i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
