just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
