Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
