You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
