Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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