There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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