omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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