okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize