I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
