Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
