i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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