tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Im just a social blackout drinker.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
