Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
