idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
