Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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