His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
