The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
