No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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