i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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