dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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