He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
