So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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