all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
