There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
