Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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