the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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