Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize