I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
