your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
