So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
