i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
