We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
