just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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